Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Mean Girls: In Real Life

This is not a post I ever considered doing but after seeing a friend's Facebook (yes...I rejoined to keep up with friends at the old workplace...and I still hate it. Lol) status yesterday morning I could not resist!

So, as I scrolled down my news feed rolling my eyes and letting out deep sighs at the complainers that I am too lazy to block I came across a status that really caught my eye. This lady is a sweet friend of mine and I could tell that like always, her status was truly heartfelt. She said something along the lines of mean girls suck and she didn't understand why. She has an 12 year old daughter and we all know that around 10 years of age is when the "mean" can get really "ugly".

I clicked on this status to comment that I'd be thinking of her and her daughter. Aubree dealt with a couple mean girls at the beginning of the school year. It was tough. I know it was harder for her because she had to continue to go to school and face the girls, but it is hard on a mom too. It's hard to send your child to school knowing they have to learn to deal with mean people and it's hard not to defend your child to the little bullies. I got the principal involved and the issue was resolved promptly.

As I scrolled down the list of comments, I noticed one of three girls that were SO very mean to me in high school had left a comment. She said she did not understand why girls were so mean to each other. My heart sank into my stomach. I was shocked she even left a comment. You know what I really wanted to do was call her out and let her have it! Social media fight! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! I chose not to but I did like her status just so she knows that I saw it! I will refer to her a MG...you know for "Mean Girl."

Let me just tell y'all about MG! MG was a year ahead of me in high school so that made her better than me in the first place...whateva! Anyways, my dad bought me a brand new car when I was way too young for one and it caused a bit of an uproar with a couple girls older than me. I say that because it was during this time that they started bullying, yes bullying me. Later my dad came to regret buying me that car for more reasons than one but this was the initial reason.

MG chased me in her car from one town to the down our main highway after a baseball game one day. Why? Just to be mean I guess. It was my first encounter with her. At first I thought she drove like a fruitcake but when she got beside me and started swerving into my lane and giving me the middle finger and yelling I knew something was up. She had 2 other not-so-lovely girls in the car with her. So stupid! She could have killed us all.

This was back when I could be a real cry baby and I was afraid to stop. I had a friend in the car with me and I drove home. She followed me and sat in my driveway laying down on the horn of her little hoopty, silver Saturn. Eventually my dad went outside and told her she must have missed her turn and that the road was behind her so hit it. I guess that me not standing up to her made me an easy target. She and a couple of her friends made my life hell over the next year or so.

I was not into drama, makeup or all that girly stuff when I was younger. I was country and liked hanging out with guys. Anytime MG saw me with a guy it only took her hours to get a nasty rumor started. According to her and the awful things that she spread about me I slept with 5 different guys over Spring Break and was pregnant not once but twice in the same month. One of the guys happened to be my first cousin. Do your research, witch! We are related. Maybe she was into the "family" thing. Not me! I mean this chic was after me. I am from a small town and juicy gossip like that swarms! Plus my mother was a County Official so that made the rumors even juicier! Y'all already know that when someone is rumored to be pregnant and they don't start showing soon the next rumor is abortion. I lived through all of that. It was awful.

It didn't matter what I wore to school they made fun of me. They took shoe polish and wrote some awful stuff on my car window in the parking lot at school. The principals were aware but her dad was a teacher at our school. My mom and dad were up there ALL the time trying to get something done and eventually, they took me out of that school. Not because the rumors weren't lurking in the next town but because I could not concentrate on school and was failing.

I had to go to therapy. I had to take anti-depressants. It was not fair. I had to feel like I was losing my mind and cry myself to sleep because MG obviously had some self-esteem issues going on.

Eventually people forget about all the rumors and I realized I was better than all of that. It was really tough to deal with though. It makes it tougher when you are at an age when your hormones are starting to rage and you are trying to find a sense of belonging and who you are.

About 10 years ago, I had to ride in the same vehicle with MG to a wedding. We had mutual friends. Blah! I told y'all before that I am from a small town. I decided I would be the bigger person and just pretend none the above happened and try to talk to her and maybe even be friends. Ummm...no! Every time I would try to speak to her she would start talking over me to someone else so she didn't have to talk to me. If I talked about anything and everyone else started talking back to me she would just sit and stare out the window.

Seriously, MG, please get over yourself! Really?!?!?

MG probably has no idea the hell she put me through and probably wouldn't care if she did. As a matter of fact, she may find it entertaining.

As Aubree is approaching the years when girls are so mean I can't help but become anxious. It is really scary to me. All of the schools around here have zero tolerance for bullying but things that go on outside of school can be a problem. I don't want her to ever stop associating or not go to a party out of fear like I did. Looking back, MG was all talk but I didn't know that for sure.

I have talked to Aubree and she is a kind-hearted child. I don't worry about her being a bully. She wants to be everybody's friend.

I also explained to her that unfortunately this doesn't stop after elementary, middle, or high school. There will be mean girls in college, the workplace, mommy groups, and I have noticed a few who come off as mean girls in blog land too. Ugh! Annoying!

It's awful to say that I learned from those bad experiences but I did and they certainly made me tough. If someone wrote ANYTHING on my car now we would have some serious, serious issues.

This is probably the part where I am supposed to thank MG for making me who I am today. Hell to the NO! I am who I am today because I worked hard and am kind to others. If I have done something that obviously hurts someone's feeling I will apologize. I've had to do it at work before. Things get heated and start going bad and I've come across as UGLY. I apologized! I am not carrying that with me and I sure don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Did you go to school with a MG? What do you tell your daughter about mean girls?

24 comments:

  1. Oh babe, my heart hurts for your preteen/teen past :( Girls are so mean and I was one of the girls who tried to be nice to everyone and would never sit in the back of the classroom making fun of someone - I would likely be the one crying in the bathroom, I never understood why girls are just so vicious, so even at a young age like my daughter (she is 3) i tell her to be nice to everyone even if they are not nice to you - I figure you can never start too early!

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  2. Gah, this freaks me out! I already know one of my girls is "misunderstood" and is gonna have tough teenage years, not looking forward to it! and man, now I want to know if I know MG! lol

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  3. Unfortunately my initials are now MG(thanks husband) and I totally want to kick her ARSE!!!! Please tell me who she is! hahaha
    Kidding- sort of.

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  4. Linds, I love how raw and honest you are in this post. Mean people suck and I don't understand it. My BFF, Aimee, said to me earlier today, "there's a special place in hell reserved for women who don't help other women," as we were discussing the MG who has terrorized us for a few years now. I'm sorry you had to deal with it and your daughter too! Being the mom of a girl, I'm scared about this. Hugs to you friend!! xo

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  5. Poor Aubree! And poor you! I know how you feel. I had that problem at Crestview and cried everyday and begged my mom to homeschool me. She wouldn't homeschool me but she transferred me to Munford. That was much better there, only one MG instead of like 10 whose mom's and dad's owned everything in a little old town. I've even encountered some of them recently and they act like nothing ever happened, but deep down I can't help but want an apology for all the crap they put me through. All the crying and the making fun of me everyday and embarassing me. And you're right it doesn't ever stop; there are always bullies. It is so, so sad but it only makes us stronger. Good for you for being the bigger person. Love you. = )

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  6. Love the post! I'm SO curious to know who MG is. I know everybody has their moments, but I really hope that I was never that MG to anybody else. I really tried to be friendly to everybody. Unfortunately, I was friends with a couple of mean girls and just hope that I didn't let their behavior rub off on me too much. I see it all the time in my job. It begins way too early and I really make an effort to let these girls know that we have to stick together.

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  7. I can relate to this post so much. Only ... my MG didn't happen in high school - it happened only 3-4 years ago. It was the most ugly times in my life. I grew completely anxious and depressed. I had to go on anti-depressants, and even spent some time in a mental hospital (I haven't really shared this before) b/c of it. I told a lot of people it was PPD b/c it was after I had Savannah (but like, over a year later), but the truth it - it was being bullied by this MG and her posse. I am still scarred b/c of this. I moved 500 miles away, but we still visit that city a couple of times per year (due to my husband's job). I get anxious being there - even though I LOVED that place and do have a good friend that still lives there), b/c I don't want to run into that group that was "MG" to me. Ugh.
    I feel you, and I am fearful for my child's future. I'm 29 years old and I still get sick thinking about my past, that I can't imagine how a young young girl would feel going through it ...

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  8. Oh, and the ironic part is - one certain MG has a semi-popular blog, and posts a lot about how she hates bullying, etc. I bite my tongue everytime ....

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  9. This is so heartbreaking. I've been a victim of bullying like this as well. It's such a shame. I'm very sorry you had to deal with treatment like this. Thank you for sharing your story!

    http://sensiblestylista.blogspot.com/
    Twitter: Sensiblestylist

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    1. I'm so sorry for you! It's not fair! Thank you for stopping by!

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  10. Ugh. I think almost every female (including me) I know has had to deal with some form of bullying at some point in their life! It's just terrible. :( And even after you saw her when you were older and she's still being a MG? Some people will never stop being jerks.

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  11. Your story breaks my heart. And all of the comments too. I started highschool at a private Christian school but only lasted 6 months due to bullying by "MG". My parents even met with the administration and they told them that they were sorry, they knew that had a problem but don't know how to fix it. What?! I still struggle with it, it was a very popular school in our city so I still am constantly running into the girls. Plus I know a ton of people who loved the school and now send their kids there. One of the "MG"s has appologized and can't understand why she acted that way or why her parents let her. It is so hard, why do girls have to be so mean and why did the adults that were involved when we were growing up not know how to deal with it. I cried and cried when I found out that I was having a daughter because I was so afraid of accidentally raising a "MG" or her being bullied. I have two daughters now and it still gets me anxious.

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  12. I HATE mean girls! I just don't get it. If you don't like someone, then leave them alone. Don't go out of your way to make their life miserable. I dread the day that my daughter goes to school.

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  13. Wow that's awful and unfortunately, I'm sure happens to a lot of people. Its disgusting to think that people do stuff like that for entertainment or out of boredom when it is so hurtful to the people being bullied. I do honestly worry about my daughter when she gets older that someone will do something like that to her and it's frustrating to think about. MG will or already has met her own MG (aka Karma) and it will come back to her but good for you for moving on.

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  14. Oh my god, Lindsey. I can't believe you didn't say anything on facebook. I would have went all ghetto on her ass. But yes, I had a bully, too. Her name was Amy Fisher. Her favorite thing to do was tell everyone that my mom was a real hooker. I cried for my mom not to take me to the bus stop and then I told her why. SO my mom pulled up to the bus stop, rolled down her window, and told Amy Fisher to get off her corner. HAHAHAHA

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  15. Oh I can so relate to this post! I was bullied in HS too and had to transfer schools - it was one of the top worst experiences I've gone through! My daughter is 11 going on 12 and she doesn't have many friends and gets picked on by boys because of her hair color all the time - she comes home crying. Here the school does NOTHING about it - it's so frustrating. If we weren't moving we'd be considering home schooling for her!

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  16. You have so much self control not to say anything bc I totally would have started a Facebook smack down right then! I went to school with a MG and several MB (mean boys) in school. I was non stop picked on for being an ugly duckling throughout all of junior high and most of high school. I think my favorite thing about being out of high school is that I got totally hot (lmao) and now when I see fellow classmates they tell me how good I look. In fact, last spring a few of my male classmates were at the bar I frequent and at some point in the night they all commented to me "holy shit you got hot!". Uh thank you very much, asshat!

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  17. I was bullied all through elementary and middle school and then in high school became MG. Let me tell you I hate myself for it, especially after becoming a mom. I have also since apologized to the people and would never want people to hurt like that now! It's horrible and I'm so sorry you had to go through that!

    The sad part is most of those MG's still act like that! I see it at my son's school. I guess some people never grow up:(

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    1. I'm sorry you were bullied but am proud of you for apologizing! You're so right, some people will never grow up!

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  18. GIRLS ARE SO MEAN. This is spot on. Its disgusting. Its like my main goal in parenting. And even my very nice girls get sucked in sometimes and I have to smack them back down to reality now that they are in middle school.

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  19. I dont even know where to begin. This whole post makes me cringe. I was not the nicest adolescent, but I never took it as far as this. I got picked on A LOT as well. THe fact that MG cannot even be a grown up now and own up to what she did and how she made you feel is disgusting. I hope she does not pro create.

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  20. Oh my gah. I dread that age for my daughter! I had a girl like that to me as well when I first started high school. We're now friends on Facebook and I've never asked her if she realizes that was me who she was so mean to. ...which I dunno why she wouldn't know!

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  21. This seriously broke my heart to read this! Not only that, but it made me extremely angry and upset that someone can be soo freaking cruel FOR NO REASON AT ALL (hello, just because they weren't cool enough to get a new car is NOT a reason to make someones life a living hell!) I am so sorry that you had to face this and I really wish you would have called her out over FB... And I had to laugh out loud when I heard that she is STILL that petty and childish even 10 years later. That just proves that you are the bigger person and MUCH, MUCH better than she is!

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    1. I thankfully didn't go to a school with an MG, mainly because my graduating class was over 1,000 people and my high school was 4,500 students. So there wasn't a whole ton of bullying going around because there were soooo many different cliques.

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