This is not a post I ever considered doing but after seeing a friend's Facebook (yes...I rejoined to keep up with friends at the old workplace...and I still hate it. Lol) status yesterday morning I could not resist!
So, as I scrolled down my news feed rolling my eyes and letting out deep sighs at the complainers that I am too lazy to block I came across a status that really caught my eye. This lady is a sweet friend of mine and I could tell that like always, her status was truly heartfelt. She said something along the lines of mean girls suck and she didn't understand why. She has an 12 year old daughter and we all know that around 10 years of age is when the "mean" can get really "ugly".
I clicked on this status to comment that I'd be thinking of her and her daughter. Aubree dealt with a couple mean girls at the beginning of the school year. It was tough. I know it was harder for her because she had to continue to go to school and face the girls, but it is hard on a mom too. It's hard to send your child to school knowing they have to learn to deal with mean people and it's hard not to defend your child to the little bullies. I got the principal involved and the issue was resolved promptly.
As I scrolled down the list of comments, I noticed one of three girls that were SO very mean to me in high school had left a comment. She said she did not understand why girls were so mean to each other. My heart sank into my stomach. I was shocked she even left a comment. You know what I really wanted to do was call her out and let her have it! Social media fight! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! I chose not to but I did like her status just so she knows that I saw it! I will refer to her a MG...you know for "Mean Girl."
Let me just tell y'all about MG! MG was a year ahead of me in high school so that made her better than me in the first place...whateva! Anyways, my dad bought me a brand new car when I was way too young for one and it caused a bit of an uproar with a couple girls older than me. I say that because it was during this time that they started bullying, yes bullying me. Later my dad came to regret buying me that car for more reasons than one but this was the initial reason.
MG chased me in her car from one town to the down our main highway after a baseball game one day. Why? Just to be mean I guess. It was my first encounter with her. At first I thought she drove like a fruitcake but when she got beside me and started swerving into my lane and giving me the middle finger and yelling I knew something was up. She had 2 other not-so-lovely girls in the car with her. So stupid! She could have killed us all.
This was back when I could be a real cry baby and I was afraid to stop. I had a friend in the car with me and I drove home. She followed me and sat in my driveway laying down on the horn of her little hoopty, silver Saturn. Eventually my dad went outside and told her she must have missed her turn and that the road was behind her so hit it. I guess that me not standing up to her made me an easy target. She and a couple of her friends made my life hell over the next year or so.
I was not into drama, makeup or all that girly stuff when I was younger. I was country and liked hanging out with guys. Anytime MG saw me with a guy it only took her hours to get a nasty rumor started. According to her and the awful things that she spread about me I slept with 5 different guys over Spring Break and was pregnant not once but twice in the same month. One of the guys happened to be my first cousin. Do your research, witch! We are related. Maybe she was into the "family" thing. Not me! I mean this chic was after me. I am from a small town and juicy gossip like that swarms! Plus my mother was a County Official so that made the rumors even juicier! Y'all already know that when someone is rumored to be pregnant and they don't start showing soon the next rumor is abortion. I lived through all of that. It was awful.
It didn't matter what I wore to school they made fun of me. They took shoe polish and wrote some awful stuff on my car window in the parking lot at school. The principals were aware but her dad was a teacher at our school. My mom and dad were up there ALL the time trying to get something done and eventually, they took me out of that school. Not because the rumors weren't lurking in the next town but because I could not concentrate on school and was failing.
I had to go to therapy. I had to take anti-depressants. It was not fair. I had to feel like I was losing my mind and cry myself to sleep because MG obviously had some self-esteem issues going on.
Eventually people forget about all the rumors and I realized I was better than all of that. It was really tough to deal with though. It makes it tougher when you are at an age when your hormones are starting to rage and you are trying to find a sense of belonging and who you are.
About 10 years ago, I had to ride in the same vehicle with MG to a wedding. We had mutual friends. Blah! I told y'all before that I am from a small town. I decided I would be the bigger person and just pretend none the above happened and try to talk to her and maybe even be friends. Ummm...no! Every time I would try to speak to her she would start talking over me to someone else so she didn't have to talk to me. If I talked about anything and everyone else started talking back to me she would just sit and stare out the window.
Seriously, MG, please get over yourself! Really?!?!?
MG probably has no idea the hell she put me through and probably wouldn't care if she did. As a matter of fact, she may find it entertaining.
As Aubree is approaching the years when girls are so mean I can't help but become anxious. It is really scary to me. All of the schools around here have zero tolerance for bullying but things that go on outside of school can be a problem. I don't want her to ever stop associating or not go to a party out of fear like I did. Looking back, MG was all talk but I didn't know that for sure.
I have talked to Aubree and she is a kind-hearted child. I don't worry about her being a bully. She wants to be everybody's friend.
I also explained to her that unfortunately this doesn't stop after elementary, middle, or high school. There will be mean girls in college, the workplace, mommy groups, and I have noticed a few who come off as mean girls in blog land too. Ugh! Annoying!
It's awful to say that I learned from those bad experiences but I did and they certainly made me tough. If someone wrote ANYTHING on my car now we would have some serious, serious issues.
This is probably the part where I am supposed to thank MG for making me who I am today. Hell to the NO! I am who I am today because I worked hard and am kind to others. If I have done something that obviously hurts someone's feeling I will apologize. I've had to do it at work before. Things get heated and start going bad and I've come across as UGLY. I apologized! I am not carrying that with me and I sure don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Did you go to school with a MG? What do you tell your daughter about mean girls?