Dear Cookie Monster Toy, Thanks so much for giving me a heart attack at 2AM when I realized someone had placed you under my bed when you randomly yelled out COWABUNGA!! Shaved a good 3 years off my life!
Dear Carter, Thank you for explaining the male and female anatomy to me about a million times this week. I promise that I will not forget that mommy's don't have weiner's but they do have butts.
Dear Caleb, Mommy thought she really hit the jackpot when you were sitting on my back the other night and playing with my hair. Who doesn't love for their hair to be played with? It wasn't until I was getting ready for bed that I realized you were massaging snot into my hair. Thanks, baby boy!
Dear Aubree, I am glad you were able to look at a word you aren't very familiar with and pronounce it correctly. We both know you have made up some crazy words. So have I. I just wish this word didn't happen to be "Vagisil" while we were on the soap and deoderant aisle at Kroger that had about 5 people standing there. Three of which were men...can you say awkward?? Thanks for not asking what it is for!
Dear Carter, Mommy gets aggravated too at the constant ringing of the doorbell with people selling stuff. I don't think it was necessary, however, to yell loudly while standing at the door "mommy, there's some moron at the door." To put the icing on the cake, Pop Pop was here and asked what'd you say and you repeated it loud and clear.
Dear Hubby, Aubree and I spent 20 minutes removing every single one of those tiny charcoal rocks from the fireplace months ago after Caleb discovered them and a couple weeks ago you decide to put them back because "he needs to learn to leave them alone." I truly wish I could have seen the look on your face as you cooked Hamburger Helper for us while I was on my way home from work and you turned around to discover he had shoved about 30 of them in his mouth. Glad all the black stains came off his little face within a day or two.
Dear Pandora, When one requests Playa Fly don't play "Hey Ya" by Outkast. That's really not cool...at all. When you are in the mood for Playa that's the way it is. There is no similarity! You may have to be from Memphis to understand this one!
Dear Hobby Lobby, I've put a lot of thought into it and I have finally decided that a husband must have designed your shopping carts. I really have no other explanation for how small they are. A mom with 2 little kids can't use the cart for much of anything. You need to re-evaluate the situation! STAT!
Dear Jenelle and Kaylan, I think I am just gonna start fast forwarding when y'all come on Teen Mom 2. How much drama can one create? Y'all are getting on my nerves! If we aren't battling a manic episode with Jennelle we're dealing with Keefah! I can't deal! And Kaylan or however you spell it, your baby daddy does not want you! He is moving on just like you...oh wait, it's ok for you but not him! Whatever! I am skipping over Leah! Lord knows I don't have the strength! Team Chelsea right here! Hahahaha!
Dear Aubree, You thought you threw me for a loop with the Duck Dynasty party but it's coming together perfectly thanks to some awesome friends! Thanks y'all!
Dear Friends, Pain is having a baby, a kidney stone, or stepping on a pile of 30+ Cars II cars at 4AM! My foot ain't never gonna be the same! Thanks, Carter!
Dear 3 kiddos, Thanks for keeping mommy entertained and the dull moments to a minimum around this place! Love y'all to the moon and back!