Tuesday, May 28, 2013

First Weekend I Kinda Had Off and Food: The Enemy

 I was not planning on making a post on here today. You know, kinda like I haven't for the past month! I am tired. My kids were bad today. Yeah...I said it. B-A-D! Anyone who says kids aren't "bad" obviously does not have 3 of them and they sure as hell haven't gone to Walmart with the three children solo! Or they are heavily medicated. I do love them to pieces and hope today was just a fluke. Tomorrow is a new day after all!

Most of you know I resigned from my position as a weekender and have gone back to work full-time which in the world of nursing is 3 12-hour shifts per week. Pretty sweet! I will still, however, be working weekends for the most part because it works best for us as far as childcare goes. So, this weekend I worked Friday and Saturday nights and I almost died 4 times from being so tired and slept a few hours on Sunday then we headed to a family cookout for Memorial Day.

I had a BLAST! It was so great to spend time with family during the weekend. The kids played and went swimming. We played horseshoes and ate lots of good food. I got to catch up with a few of Brian's family members that I hadn't seen in a while. I love how they love us and our kids.

 Roasting marshmallows.
 Aubree and Carter having fun at the pool.
 Snapped this while chasing my little cotton-top around the yard.
 Brian's Aunt Wanda with her great nephews.
 We played horseshoes and I was very rusty!
Ahahahaha! Caleb wearing goggles.
Now for the not-so-great part. I had no idea that food was my BFF until I recently decided to start eating better and cutting back. Let me just tell y'all, it is a freaking wonder that I don't weigh 500 lbs. I recall my friend, Dawn, saying at work one night about a year ago that she hoped she lived to see the day that I became fat because she watched me eat 4 pieces of pizza, a couple cheese sticks, and 3 pieces of cake in a 12-hour period. I thought whatever, girlfriend. Momma right here has had 3 kids and looks good, eats like she wants so it ain't happening. Ha...ha...ha!! I'll take retracting that statement for 500, Alex!
I have terrible female problems. We'll just leave it at that. It is a wonder I had one child much less 3. We thought Caleb was not going to happen. Mainly because there was just about to be no uterus to grow him in but my doctor was so hung up on me being in my 20s and she really encouraged us to have another baby if we had the least desire to do so. So after about a year we found out we would be expanding our family.
When Caleb was about 6 months old, my hoopty uterus attempted to take me out. It was bad. Like the kind of bad where you call your FIL and explain things that he shouldn't know about you because you're pretty sure that you're about to die and you'd like him to come watch the kids. I will never forget his response...damn, you need a hysterectomy. Haha!
So, 2 days later I had surgery. I believe it has caused some changes in my hormones and I can no longer eat like the pig I used to be. Well, I can but it will show. I didn't really notice it until I tried on a swim suit back in the winter. It was all good until I did a reverse view. Holy Moly! When I gain, it all goes to my buttocks and thighs. So, that's where all the red velvet and caramel cake with wine was going. Oh, and the cream cheese pastry warmed up from Starbucks like erry'day!
Now, I am not saying that I am fat. I don't think that I am. I have never thought that I was fat. However, I do believe that it could happen. I believe that if I continued to eat like, as Holly says, it's the only way to get into Heaven that I would have a little problem.
I started doing Pilates, which  I swear by. I also started running. I do challenges here and there. I love squat challenges. I feel so much better on the days that I work out. It really does make a difference.
I decided that I should start to make more healthy choices in my diet and cut back. Ok, so this is the part where I realized how MUCH I used to eat and I do not see how I am not ginormous! I only snack on fruit, yogurt, cheese, and Stacy's Pita chips now. I used to buy a dozen cupcakes a week and hide them from my kids and snack on those. I only put reasonable portions on my plate now and don't go back for a second helping. Before, I ate until I had that feel stomach ache feeling. I guess I thought you were supposed to eat until you felt like you were going to pop.
I feel much better now as far as my stomach. I used to have GI issues and I can now see why! However, I feel almost depressed sometimes about food. I didn't realize that often times I would eat just to eat I suppose. I catch myself multiple times a day wanting to go into the pantry for a snack and I am NOT hungry. What in the world?!? I would snack while I cooked dinner. Why? I mean I was getting ready to eat dinner so why snack? I would snack after the kids went to bed while drinking wine. Not because I was hungry. I am starting to think food was a companion of mine. I feel like I should be snacking right now as I type this.
I am sharing all of this because I am struggling, y'all! Like I said, I don't think that I am fat but I have got to continue to do as well as I have been over the past few weeks. It's not just the issue of fearing weight gain, it's the yucky family history of heart disease and cancer that I have. Not to mention that I want to set an example for my kids.
We are going to Las Vegas in about 3 weeks and I plan on eating like a pig and drinking like a fish but I am a little afraid that it may make me feel like crap or even puke! We can't have that!
Does anyone else feel like food is their BFF? Anyone eat because they are bored? Everyone ready for me to shut up? Haha!


  1. First off, I love that you have a little of your weekends free now!!! We have got to get together again soon! And second, I totally understand where you are coming from on the food issue. I snack when I am bored. And that isn't too horrible when we have fruit or some healthy stuff in the house. It sucks when we only have chips. That's only when Jeremy sneaks it in, lol. I feel like if I am sitting to watch tv, I should have a snack. Even if I just ate. It grosses me out but I do it. During the week is ok, on the weekends it's a real problem. It's something I am constantly telling myself not to do. So you are definitely not alone.

  2. I struggled more with food when I worked nights. I would come home at 3 or 4 in the morning and be lonely and tired and eat. It's better now with a normal schedule. I can still put away a bag of Doritos if the mood is right.

  3. I seriously feel like that. Again, like Holly says, "been thinking about my next meal since 1985." That is me. I am always thinking about food, what I want to eat and when I can eat it. Sometimes I don't care and I don't always make bad choices but sometimes it really feels like it is controlling me. Urrrgggg....I feel your pain. All the way.

  4. I am with you 100% on the food, my BFF. One of my goals this summer is not to walk to the cabinet every time I have a moment of downtime. It is a habit that's hard to break. I just LOVE food so dang much! I'm also an emotional eater, as in, I eat when I'm happy, sad, drowning my sorrows, or celebrating with friends. I mean, how often do you and your friends meet to take your kids to the park and walk the track? Because I've done this a couple times, but I'm always in for meeting at Chik-fil-a so the kids can play and I can shovel fried chicken into my mouth:)

  5. Yay for free weekends and I agree I am always thinking about food. Ugh...

  6. Alright so anyone that says their kids are never "bad" is a liar! Mine has stepped into the terrible 10's and I need a break(or a drink) daily haha

    Food is definitely my bff.....it's hard to put the bad stuff down but it makes me feel so shitty! You would think we would learn when it makes us feel terrible! Oh well

  7. I have a problem with the ole food thing too. I'm not FAT per se, but I've gotten much bigger especially recently. Pants don't fit as well as they used to, and shorts look borderline trashy. (is her butt eating her shorts?? ha!) I've been doing the same thing recently by trying to make a conscious effort to only eat when I'm hungry and to make good choices. It's hard girl! I feel your pain!

  8. I think about food all day everyday. Even now when I eat any time of carbs I end up regretting it and having a headache and stomach ache. I've always had horrible stomach issues growing up.

  9. I probably think about food 24/7. It's ridic... If I am not eating I am thinking about what I am going to eat. But unlike you, I have a horrible metabolism, hence I weigh more than my husband who is 6'4. Oops!!!

    It is hard, but I promise that it will get easier. And can I just say, that I totally hide food from the kids that I don't want to share... Great Minds....

    and last but not least. I love that you are honest when your kids are bad. I remember one time we took Molly & Brady to the mall and they were being assholes. So, I posted it on Facebook, and my husband ripped me a new one. I guess he wants everyone to think our kids are perfect... Newsflash. they aren't...