First Weekend I Kinda Had Off and Food: The Enemy

 I was not planning on making a post on here today. You know, kinda like I haven't for the past month! I am tired. My kids were bad today. Yeah...I said it. B-A-D! Anyone who says kids aren't "bad" obviously does not have 3 of them and they sure as hell haven't gone to Walmart with the three children solo! Or they are heavily medicated. I do love them to pieces and hope today was just a fluke. Tomorrow is a new day after all!

Most of you know I resigned from my position as a weekender and have gone back to work full-time which in the world of nursing is 3 12-hour shifts per week. Pretty sweet! I will still, however, be working weekends for the most part because it works best for us as far as childcare goes. So, this weekend I worked Friday and Saturday nights and I almost died 4 times from being so tired and slept a few hours on Sunday then we headed to a family cookout for Memorial Day.

I had a BLAST! It was so great to spend time with family during the weekend. The kids played and went swimming. We played horseshoes and ate lots of good food. I got to catch up with a few of Brian's family members that I hadn't seen in a while. I love how they love us and our kids.

 Roasting marshmallows.

 Aubree and Carter having fun at the pool.

 Snapped this while chasing my little cotton-top around the yard.

 Brian's Aunt Wanda with her great nephews.

 We played horseshoes and I was very rusty!

Ahahahaha! Caleb wearing goggles.

 

Now for the not-so-great part. I had no idea that food was my BFF until I recently decided to start eating better and cutting back. Let me just tell y'all, it is a freaking wonder that I don't weigh 500 lbs. I recall my friend, Dawn, saying at work one night about a year ago that she hoped she lived to see the day that I became fat because she watched me eat 4 pieces of pizza, a couple cheese sticks, and 3 pieces of cake in a 12-hour period. I thought whatever, girlfriend. Momma right here has had 3 kids and looks good, eats like she wants so it ain't happening. Ha...ha...ha!! I'll take retracting that statement for 500, Alex!

 

I have terrible female problems. We'll just leave it at that. It is a wonder I had one child much less 3. We thought Caleb was not going to happen. Mainly because there was just about to be no uterus to grow him in but my doctor was so hung up on me being in my 20s and she really encouraged us to have another baby if we had the least desire to do so. So after about a year we found out we would be expanding our family.

 

When Caleb was about 6 months old, my hoopty uterus attempted to take me out. It was bad. Like the kind of bad where you call your FIL and explain things that he shouldn't know about you because you're pretty sure that you're about to die and you'd like him to come watch the kids. I will never forget his response...damn, you need a hysterectomy. Haha!

 

So, 2 days later I had surgery. I believe it has caused some changes in my hormones and I can no longer eat like the pig I used to be. Well, I can but it will show. I didn't really notice it until I tried on a swim suit back in the winter. It was all good until I did a reverse view. Holy Moly! When I gain, it all goes to my buttocks and thighs. So, that's where all the red velvet and caramel cake with wine was going. Oh, and the cream cheese pastry warmed up from Starbucks like erry'day!

 

Now, I am not saying that I am fat. I don't think that I am. I have never thought that I was fat. However, I do believe that it could happen. I believe that if I continued to eat like, as Holly says, it's the only way to get into Heaven that I would have a little problem.

 

I started doing Pilates, which  I swear by. I also started running. I do challenges here and there. I love squat challenges. I feel so much better on the days that I work out. It really does make a difference.

 

I decided that I should start to make more healthy choices in my diet and cut back. Ok, so this is the part where I realized how MUCH I used to eat and I do not see how I am not ginormous! I only snack on fruit, yogurt, cheese, and Stacy's Pita chips now. I used to buy a dozen cupcakes a week and hide them from my kids and snack on those. I only put reasonable portions on my plate now and don't go back for a second helping. Before, I ate until I had that feel stomach ache feeling. I guess I thought you were supposed to eat until you felt like you were going to pop.

 

I feel much better now as far as my stomach. I used to have GI issues and I can now see why! However, I feel almost depressed sometimes about food. I didn't realize that often times I would eat just to eat I suppose. I catch myself multiple times a day wanting to go into the pantry for a snack and I am NOT hungry. What in the world?!? I would snack while I cooked dinner. Why? I mean I was getting ready to eat dinner so why snack? I would snack after the kids went to bed while drinking wine. Not because I was hungry. I am starting to think food was a companion of mine. I feel like I should be snacking right now as I type this.

 

I am sharing all of this because I am struggling, y'all! Like I said, I don't think that I am fat but I have got to continue to do as well as I have been over the past few weeks. It's not just the issue of fearing weight gain, it's the yucky family history of heart disease and cancer that I have. Not to mention that I want to set an example for my kids.

 

We are going to Las Vegas in about 3 weeks and I plan on eating like a pig and drinking like a fish but I am a little afraid that it may make me feel like crap or even puke! We can't have that!

 

Does anyone else feel like food is their BFF? Anyone eat because they are bored? Everyone ready for me to shut up? Haha!